The one thing about White Sox general manager Ken Williams is that he always has a plan.
But for how long?
Think ”Wayne’s World,” fast-forwarding to May 2010. And, no, this isn’t the ”Scooby Doo” ending.
”Distractions” best sums up how one could envision life for the Sox after the 2009 season.
Start with Williams’ shocking news during his visit with President Giuliani at the White House that winning his second World Series was enough. It was time to move on and take over personnel duties for the Oakland Raiders.
That left new GM Rick Hahn in charge of what has become the ”South Side Zoo.”
Still regretting manager Ozzie Guillen signing a deal with Sirius/XM Radio to do a morning drive show with Mike North, Hahn has turned his attention to the field, with the defending champions slumping.
Yes, it was a coup acquiring right fielder Alfonso Soriano from the Cubs after 2008, but Soriano is off to another slow start as Guillen tries to light a fire underneath him.
Who cares if the North Siders still are paying half his salary and have only Gavin Floyd and Lance Broadway to show for it after Scott Podsednik was injured. Guillen wants results.
Thank goodness first baseman Paul Konerko and designated hitter Jim Thome are starting to heat up. Thome, who signed a one-year extension to stay with the Sox, is now 26 home runs shy of 600 and in midseason form.
The same can’t be said about catcher A.J. Pierzynski. Ever since hitting the winning home run in Game 7 of the World Series off St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Mark Buehrle, it has been a crazy winter for Pierzynski.
Teaming up with Sox fitness consigliere Dale Torborg, the duo’s first action movie, ”Demonslayer,” tanked at the box office — although DVD sales have Hollywood rumbling about a sequel, ”Demonslayer II: Who, Me?” But Pierzynski isn’t thrilled about losing time to Gustavo Molina behind the plate.
Third baseman Josh Fields and second baseman Orlando Hudson have been solid and, more important, quietly going about their business.
Same for the starting rotation of Javier Vazquez, John Danks, Nick Masset, Gio Gonzalez and Adam Russell, who have dominated, while closer Bobby Jenks leads the American League in saves and has watched ”Bobby Beer” pass up Coors sales in the Chicago area.
But Hahn still is getting killed for acquiring a slumping Alex Rodriguez from the Los Angeles Angels in the winter. Yes, the Sox were responsible for only half of A-Rod’s salary, but giving up pitchers Jack Egbert and Carlos Vasquez, along with top outfield prospect Ozney Guillen — who graduated from high school a year early just to join the Sox — has the elder Guillen questioning his own future in the organization.
So searching for some sort of spark, Hahn finds it in late May. He turns over a food table in the visiting clubhouse of Minnesota’s new ballpark, letting his players know he means business — and leaving pitching coach Don Cooper to scream, ”Hey, I didn’t eat yet!”
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, word of Hahn’s outburst reaches Williams, who is scouting his son Kyle as a wide-receiver prospect.
”There you go, Rick,” Williams says with a smile.
It has begun.