Sun-Times beat writer Joe Cowley’s ‘futur-vision’ of the ‘09 White Sox Season:

The one thing about White Sox general manager Ken Williams is that he always has a plan.
But for how long?

Think ”Wayne’s World,” fast-forwarding to May 2010. And, no, this isn’t the ”Scooby Doo” ending.

”Distractions” best sums up how one could envision life for the Sox after the 2009 season.

Start with Williams’ shocking news during his visit with President Giuliani at the White House that winning his second World Series was enough. It was time to move on and take over personnel duties for the Oakland Raiders.

That left new GM Rick Hahn in charge of what has become the ”South Side Zoo.”

Still regretting manager Ozzie Guillen signing a deal with Sirius/XM Radio to do a morning drive show with Mike North, Hahn has turned his attention to the field, with the defending champions slumping.

Yes, it was a coup acquiring right fielder Alfonso Soriano from the Cubs after 2008, but Soriano is off to another slow start as Guillen tries to light a fire underneath him.

Who cares if the North Siders still are paying half his salary and have only Gavin Floyd and Lance Broadway to show for it after Scott Podsednik was injured. Guillen wants results.

Thank goodness first baseman Paul Konerko and designated hitter Jim Thome are starting to heat up. Thome, who signed a one-year extension to stay with the Sox, is now 26 home runs shy of 600 and in midseason form.

The same can’t be said about catcher A.J. Pierzynski. Ever since hitting the winning home run in Game 7 of the World Series off St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Mark Buehrle, it has been a crazy winter for Pierzynski.

Teaming up with Sox fitness consigliere Dale Torborg, the duo’s first action movie, ”Demonslayer,” tanked at the box office — although DVD sales have Hollywood rumbling about a sequel, ”Demonslayer II: Who, Me?” But Pierzynski isn’t thrilled about losing time to Gustavo Molina behind the plate.

Third baseman Josh Fields and second baseman Orlando Hudson have been solid and, more important, quietly going about their business.

Same for the starting rotation of Javier Vazquez, John Danks, Nick Masset, Gio Gonzalez and Adam Russell, who have dominated, while closer Bobby Jenks leads the American League in saves and has watched ”Bobby Beer” pass up Coors sales in the Chicago area.

But Hahn still is getting killed for acquiring a slumping Alex Rodriguez from the Los Angeles Angels in the winter. Yes, the Sox were responsible for only half of A-Rod’s salary, but giving up pitchers Jack Egbert and Carlos Vasquez, along with top outfield prospect Ozney Guillen — who graduated from high school a year early just to join the Sox — has the elder Guillen questioning his own future in the organization.

So searching for some sort of spark, Hahn finds it in late May. He turns over a food table in the visiting clubhouse of Minnesota’s new ballpark, letting his players know he means business — and leaving pitching coach Don Cooper to scream, ”Hey, I didn’t eat yet!”

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, word of Hahn’s outburst reaches Williams, who is scouting his son Kyle as a wide-receiver prospect.

”There you go, Rick,” Williams says with a smile.

It has begun.

Future Me will see Demonslayer at least five or six time in theaters.

Chicago Sun-Times: Future shocks for future Sox

I am not sure what I like better about this news story. That is sounds like the setup for a bad porn movie or the ever expanding list of things that are “human rights.”

Women at a prison outside Gothenburg have decided to fight for their right to a decent sun tan.

Sweden’s Justice Ombudsman has received a letter from the Prisoners’ Council at Sagsjön jail in which the women bemoan the fact that they are not permitted to wear bikinis.

“It’s a human right,” wrote the chairwoman of the council.

Since bikinis are not standard issue in jail, and inmates are not permitted to wear their civilian clothes, the prisoners consider themselves victims of discrimination, Aftonbladet reports.

“How are we supposed to be able to sunbathe at all? They answer we have got is that we can sunbathe in shorts and sports tops. In other words, we are treated differently because we are in an institution and we are disriminated against because of our gender,” the women wrote.

“We want to be able to enjoy the sun just like everybody else in Sweden, whether they are in an institution or on the outside.”

The Local: Female prisoners demand bikinis

I have no idea how this happens
all my maps have been overwrote
happenstance has changed my plans so many times
my heart has been outgrown
no everybody’s feeling all alone
can’t tell you who I am
when everybody’s feeling all alone
can’t tell you who I am

Wilco: You Are My Face — Sky Blue Sky

So much for the “most honest, most open, most ethical congress in history.”

YouTube: Democrats doing business as usual

NBC Television has all but axed Donald Trump’s hour-long personal infomercial gameshow:

The future of his NBC series “The Apprentice” was cast into extreme doubt on Monday by the network’s announcement of a 2007-08 programming lineup that made no mention of Trump or the corporate-themed reality show he hosts.

Amusingly, Reuters repeats as fact Trump’s bogus claim to be a billionaire.

Reuters: Trump’s show left off newly unveiled NBC lineup

[D]on’t make the mistake of thinking that “secular” [in Turkey] means “liberal, democratic and friendly to the West.” That, it decidedly does not.

A very worthwhile article in this last Sunday’s Washignton Post on the politcal battles going on in Turkey.

The Washington Post: In Turkey, a Looming Battle Over Islam

Today, which directors are making films that are consistent with those concerns?

Not as many as I might like, although I hesitate to make sweeping statements, because I don’t see everything. It seems to me that one of problems today is that there’s a lack of film culture. Films are not constructed as well they used to be. There’s a lot of technical expertise on display, but with some exceptions, the storytelling is less effective, and it seems that what used to be thought of as B pictures are now A pictures.  I don’t want to suggest that there’s no value in B pictures, because I love B pictures.

But when you look back on pictures like How Green Was My Valley or The Grapes of Wrath or The Best Years of Our Lives or From Here to Eternity, they’re intelligent, well-constructed, sophisticated movies about people. And at one time, movies like that didn’t just come out in the last couple of months of the year. They came out regularly, a lot of them were modestly scaled, and people went out and saw them and talked about them, and they were made by the major studios. The only people routinely making pictures like that today are the so-called independents.

Look at The Lives of Others. It’s the kind of picture Hollywood used to be able to make. On a basic level it works as a very suspenseful thriller. On the highest level, it works as an indictment of totalitarianism. And on a kind of middle level, it works as a human drama. Hollywood used to make those sorts of pictures all the time—pictures that worked on multiple levels, but were made for a wide audience, not a limited audience.

Is this a permanent condition?

I don’t know, but it’s a pretty depressing situation.

Time Out New York: Hitchcock–eyed

zaf•tig |ˈzäftig; -tik| (also zof•tig)adjective informal(of a woman) having a full, rounded figure; plump.ORIGIN 1930s: Yiddish, from German saftig ‘juicy.’

Apparenlty Vanity Fair is reporting in its June issue that Bruce Willis is disappointed that the fourth (and final?) Die Hard movie will be editied as to get a ‘PG-13′ rating rather than a ‘R’ rating. AICN’s Vern has this response:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the movie was called LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD. But from what Vanity Fair is saying here, it sounds more like LIVE FREE OR DIE– WELL, LET’S NOT DIE TOO HARD, THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT. Which, in my opinion, is not as good of a title.

If you make this PG-13, you might get your opening weekend, it might be as big as if it was R. On the other hand, people might say “What? A new DIE HARD? Where he’s bald? And the title is funny? And the Macintosh guy is in it? And fucking Silent Bob? And it’s PG-13? I don’t want to see that shit!” Or, “Bruce Willis said it was supposed to be R-rated, and he was really disappointed, I’ll just wait until the real, actual adult version of the movie is available for free, illegal, non-Fox-money-giving download after some pissed off studio employee leaks it.”

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

Ain’t It Cool News: Vern has some words for you about the pansy-assing of the 4th DIE FLACCID movie.

But is the carbon-neutral movement just a gimmick?

On this, environmentalists aren’t neutral, and they don’t agree. Some believe it helps build support, but others argue that these purchases don’t accomplish anything meaningful — other than giving someone a slightly better feeling (or greener reputation) after buying a 6,000-square-foot house or passing the million-mile mark in a frequent-flier program. In fact, to many environmentalists, the carbon-neutral campaign is a sign of the times — easy on the sacrifice and big on the consumerism.

As long as the use of fossil fuels keeps climbing — which is happening relentlessly around the world — the emission of greenhouse gases will keep rising. The average American, by several estimates, generates more than 20 tons of carbon dioxide or related gases a year; the average resident of the planet about 4.5 tons.

At this rate, environmentalists say, buying someone else’s squelched emissions is all but insignificant.

“The worst of the carbon-offset programs resemble the Catholic Church’s sale of indulgences back before the Reformation,” said Denis Hayes, the president of the Bullitt Foundation, an environmental grant-making group. “Instead of reducing their carbon footprints, people take private jets and stretch limos, and then think they can buy an indulgence to forgive their sins.”

“This whole game is badly in need of a modern Martin Luther,” Mr. Hayes added.

New York Times: Carbon-Neutral Is Hip, but Is It Green?